How you come across Vs. What you Say

Definitions

How you come across

the manner or style you use to say something

What you say

the content and ideas of what you are saying

Comparisons

how vs. what

Example: Betty had good motives, but when she made suggestions to her employees, she had such a hyper, shrill tone of voice that they reacted defensively. When she learned to lighten up about what she was saying, speak more slowly, and use more silence, she started building stronger relationships with her staff.

Key Point: How well you come across is as important as what you are saying. Your tone of voice, pace, authenticity, energy, style, and attitude matter. You can focus on having better things to say, but until you know how to come across well, you are less likely to be listened to.

Benefit: When you come across well, people are more able and more likely to pay attention.

Dr. Rosen’s Comments:

Studies reveal that in communication 55% is body language, 38% is tone of voice, and only 7% is the words we use. Experiment with your tone of voice, words, pace and body language and begin to open the doorway to communication. Consider taking the D.I.S.C. and Values (P.I.A.V.) courses and invest in yourself and your ability to communicate effectively with your patients. You will be glad you did!!!

About the Submitter:

Submitted by Isabel Parlett, who can be reached at Isacoach@aol.com
The original source is: Thomas J. Leonard.

Copyright 97, 98, 99, 00, 2001, 2002 CoachVille ©

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